The Common Sense Cat

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How to Pill a Cat

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HOW TO PILL A CAT

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth rub throat of cat to encourage swallowing.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call wife from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get wife to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get wife to lie on cat with its head just visible from below wife's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to wife's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's garden shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a glass of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get wife to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for session with Psychiatrist for even daring to think about giving your cat a pill! home | behavioural

Behavioural Issues

Even after any infection has been treated and cleared, your cat may continue to insist on urinating on the carpet or whatever spot that she picked to use. This is because cats are instinctively triggered to continue using an area that smells of their urine or feces.

Ordinary house cleaning products may get rid of the smell for you, but not for your cat! She will still smell it and therefore continue to use that spot. You will need to use an enzyme cleaner to thoroughly soak the area and then allow to air dry. If it is a carpet that has been soiled do not forget to also soak the underlay.

What if it is established that there is no medical reason for your cats sudden bad cat behavior?

Then you will need to do some detective work to discover the explanation. Has anything changed? Has a new pet been brought into the home? Is there a new baby in the house? A new partner? Animals can suffer the stress that change brings, just the same as humans can.

Have you changed the type or brand of cat litter that you have been using? Have you changed the type of air freshener, or room deodorizer to one with a different scent? (It is not a good idea to use a room deodorizer close to a litter tray.) Have you recently had installed a new kitchen appliance, one that periodically makes a noise? If your kitties' litter box is close to this it certainly could be the cause of the cat behavior problem.

An obvious reason that should not be overlooked is, has her litter box been moved to a different spot in the house? You may have been rearranging the furniture and decided the litter tray would be better placed here rather than there. Your cat may not agree.

Some non slip mats or rugs use a backing that has an odor, that may be unnoticeable to humans but to a cat is an open invitation to urinate. Not much can be done here but to dump the rug.

Most cats have a preference of particular kinds of surfaces they like to do their toilet on. This preference for a surface can change for no apparent reason, and a cat that has always used the litter tray will suddenly favor going on a soft fabric surface, in your bath, or sink, or on a wood floor.

What can be done to combat this cat behavior surface of choice problem? Make the place where your cat has been using unattractive by covering it with sheets of sticky paper, sticky side up, or strips of aluminum foil. If your cat is going on a soft surface, try changing to a soft, sandy litter, and try laying a soft length of fabric under the litter box. If your kitty is using a smooth surface, such as tiles, spread a thin layer of litter at one end of the box, and leave the other end bare. top | home